Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
