YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
