singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize