miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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