As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
