why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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