I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
