Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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