If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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