That's when you crack a 10am beer
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
