We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
