Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
