So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
