There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
