Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize
