Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
