what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
