is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
