Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
