Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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