the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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