Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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