If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
