i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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