we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
