D3 body, D1 cock
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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