We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am available for nakedness
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
