all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
