I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
