Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
