I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just had sex on a roof
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
