I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
