Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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