Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
