hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and i looked up. we had an audience...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
