You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize