found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
