Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
