I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
