idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
