Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize