A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
