I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Randomize
