sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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