in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize