Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
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