No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
