dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
