last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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