Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
