is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she told me i tasted like america
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
