she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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