its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
