I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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