We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
