The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
