We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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