at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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