I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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