I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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