But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
