There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
