it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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